After sitting and waiting for something better to do, I started making some macaroni. Burner on, water in the pot, noodles in hot water, ready to watch. I poured some noodles in the pot and stood stupefied by them. They just keep rolling around and spinning around endlessly. Looking at it just the wrong way and it looks like some kind of ant colony of strange ants, walking and circling to god knows where. After a few minutes, I think it was a few minutes, it was time for the customary testing of the noodles. I grabbed a spoon. I needed just one noodle. The noodles kept marching and dancing. In my spoon goes, out my spoon goes. Nothing but hot starchy water, damn my skills I can’t do shit. Down spoon, up spoon, I was a pasta themed Sisyphus; but what did I do this time?

I gotta agree, macaroni noodles look a lot like guts. Harvest a rabbit or a deer and out comes macaroni, except only the Scott’s and maniacs eat it. But the noodles sure act more like brains. I was trying to come up with something to think about but I couldn’t. Down spoon, up spoon; just the starchy stuff thoughts live in. I thought these noodles had something important to say, isn’t that why I put them on? Macaroni, macaroni, macaroni tell me what to think. I’m not even sure I was hungry to begin with but here we are and there you are and you have to eat before your food gets cold you know, that’s what all good boys do. Its time to pour the noodles into a strainer, just looking at them they tell me the macaroni is ready. I don’t want to be reminded I can’t think so instead lets just strain the noodles. New steam, old strainer. Both help announce that these noodles, surely, are ready to eat.

Once into a big bowl, a fork suddenly works to get these noodles. Macaroni can only lassoed out of water, must be why we invented the fork. I can’t help but wonder if I spill out my own guts, then surely it must be easier to pull out the thoughts. Or I could dig out my brain and put it in a casserole, with peas and greens and lots of breadcrumbs for filler. It’d have to bake for a while, probably, but by the end it would be perfectly forkable. None dare tremble at the thought of not being able to eat this delicacy! It will be so soft and easy to cut you could do it with your fork but remain together easily. So dig in! Shovel it all in your mouth and taste the thoughts, it should be nice and easy to examine them all once in a casserole. You can consider each small thought as you need but you could also take all the thoughts and consider them all at once.

And it was such a wonderful idea I got up to do just that. I had a hatchet from collecting some wood lying around and a hammer, perfect! I brought out the cutting board, nice and clean too, and got to work. To make sure no hair would get into my casserole, I cut it all off where I was planning on cracking my head open. A razor and a few minutes later I was ready. I scored a line with the hatchet so I could get a clean cut line around my whole head, placed my head on the chopping board, set my hatchet along the line I scored and began whacking. Same as when i get a coconut as a treat, I never hit it hard enough. it took a few more whacks then i should of bought I cracked the skull, not too badly. I only had to fish a few bone pieces out of the brain after. My brain laid bare and proud on my cutting board but the damn juices were getting everywhere so I grabbed some clothes and wiped it up before continuing. Now my head was nice and light! I made sure to remember and put my skull back on my head, otherwise I might lose it.

I have to say, that ever since then, it sure has been easy to make decisions! First though, I should give you the recipe. Okay so once you’ve got the brain, rinse it and make sure to chop it all up into little bits. First though, remove the stem and some of the area around the stem, its usually a little too bitter, astringent and gamey because its mostly connective stuff. Plus it has those nasty bits of more animistic thinking which will ruin the flavour we want. You can keep these bits to make a broth if you want. Anyways remember, we want just little pieces of brain. Each thought should be able to occupy its own space which makes digesting them easier while still letting someone chew on more at once if they want to. You an casserole it in whatever type of milk you want, but I do find you’ll need more flour with brain, otherwise it doesn’t congeal quite right. Bake until golden in the centre of the dish. Poke with a fork to see if its done.

And thank you for asking, the casserole I made really was delicious. The best part was that I could eat my thoughts and they would never come back to me again! How lovely. Every brain will taste different based on what was going on when you harvested it but mine had a strong umami component with notes of sadness, regret and misery throughout. One nice thing is that not all parts will taste the same. If you are lucky you can taste bits of love, bits of caring and so one although mine didn’t have too much of that. It must have just been when I decided to harvest it.

But yes, and thank you for noticing, that is why I don’t worry anymore. I ate that away! Gone with the toliet along with every other thought I used to have. Work has been going so well lately too, all you really have to do is what you are told after all! Oh and my sleep has improved drastically! Its never been easier to sleep since I got rid of all those nasty thoughts. It really is quite brutish the way society says you have to live. Well forget it! I think we should all eat our brains! Its really the best way to live. Whats that? Oh yes, sorry I forgot , we were talking about my macaroni I made.