For a group of people in my life, I see all their other faces in each of them. From the first to the last, I see them all. I can’t stop it, can’t help it. I wish I could. All these women, some of them beautiful, some less so, some kind, I’m forced to confront all of them when I see one of them. God its horrific. Do you have to look at every shit you’ve ever taken when you come out of the crapper? Of course not, they’ve been flushed away (usually) to god knows where and you never have to think about it again. Not this. No I’m forced to see all the mistakes I can’t help but have made for years. For as long as women have come up to me.

A really truly good person, who I’ve only met a few of is one of them and it makes it so much worse. I can’t possibly look them in the eye or even cheek or hell much of anything at all. Its simple, see on brightened cheek, see the rest. They meant well, she did but I still see it. I see them all.

Anyways so I go about my life, thinking about seven or eleven rings for a noose, and then another face comes along. And, its different. Now I don’t think they are actually different, in reality. But I don’t live there and I don’t plan on it either. Instead in a moment of lucidity to the world you can see the beauty and the tragedy of it all. But now that’s how you remember their face, in that lucid state. I got a rush from an energy drink once that felt kind of like it does. I never get to see for very long but its long enough. Whatever I see is usually all I see for that little while, like during a drinking binge, and if its good or a good grown beautiful women its hard to redact what gets imprinted in my head.

I love the beauty of the world when I’m so intoxicated by it. Love drunk off the world. Could be as simple as a lakeside made out in a certain way, could be the trees, or the moon or a person. The best part about getting high is being high, if someone tells you otherwise they should be put in a looney bin. The sickening come down makes you regret it all. That lake is poison, those trees should be cut down, that women is a retched, spiteful person and so on et cetera. Hair of the dog, hair of the dog; that’s a neat trick!

So here’s a piece of advice. Let me tell you a story. You left some man behind in some city you’d rather forget in a time you’d rather not remember and now what? Hair of the dog! Don’t forget this now, its important. So you make sure to leave, go somewhere that ‘feels’ different, it smells strange and nobody knows your name. You’re just a drifter, at least for the moment. So stop. Someone will come along, I have no doubts. And you will see those features again. You will see someone elses face where that persons face should be. This is normal and to be expected. You feel pain, those things you want to forget come back, even if just a little. But remember hair of the dog! Jump in old boy, you can’t come back down when you’re getting higher. Do it. Don’t think about the past. Don’t let it get to you. This one will be different. of course it will. Isn’t everyone different? Not everyone can give the same.

Now this is true of course, most will give at least one special thing to remember them by when you look in other peoples faces. This is their gift to you, you better cherish it! Did you give them anything in return? Either way, a gift is an thing to be cared for. So when you look in the next persons face, make sure to remember it all, keep the memories fresh if you can, don’t lose those gifts. These are all lessons you know. I think you’d have to ask an elder what they mean though. I sure as hell don’t know what they mean. And if you keep up the hair of the dog, you can get lots and lots lessons, I should know I have loads.